Above the Law, Pls Hndle Thx: Doing ‘Tax Work’:

I have 12 years of state and local tax experience.  I am currently a Tax Manager at a large company.  I have managed the second largest tax audit defense group in the country.  My current [law school] GPA is 3.4, with no curve.  Do you think I can obtain employment with a midsized or large firm?

Generally speaking, law firms wet the bed when a new associate rolls up to the firm and announces that he or she wants to do tax. Nobody wants to do tax, ever, and if you apply to firms with a cover letter stating that you want to do tax AND have legitimate tax experience (not just taking Tax in law school), the lights will dim, the disco ball will drop, Dream Weaver will start playing, and interviews will be yours for the picking….

Why? Because nobody wants to do boring, complicated tax work for partners in bow ties. In fact, when I ranked “employee benefits” as my third preferred practice area (mainly because I knew what “employees” and “benefits” were and I didn’t want to work in a practice area whose name I would have had to Google, like “derivatives” or “capital markets”), HR at my old firm rejoiced because, unbeknownst to me at the time, employee benefits is Tax Lite.  That’s why the phrase “I don’t do tax work” is often used as slang for “I don’t do anal sex“: when it comes to these two activities, some people draw a hard line — and you can capitalize on your willingness to cross it.

True, law firms are still (mystifyingly!) grade snobs, and a 3.4 GPA from some hideous law school night program is no oil painting, but beggars can’t be choosers, and an associate who’s willing to do tax work is a rare find. You should also do The Secret.