McSweeney's, Selected Negative Teaching Evaluations of Jesus Christ:

“By week one, I was already tired of his anti-rich, pro-Samaritan bullshit. I wanted to take a course in Christianity, not liberalism.” …

“Kind of absent-minded. My name’s Simon, and he’s called me ‘Peter’ for the entire semester.” …

“Tells too many stories. Easy to get him off track during lectures.” …

“I asked him to sign my accommodations form from the Disability Services Office, and he spit on the ground and rubbed the dirt in my eyes. I can see now, but it was still rude.” …

“Definitely plays favorites. Calls on the same twelve guys over and over. I even heard he took them out to dinner.” …

“A complete joke. Only got the job because his dad is important.”