Christianity Today Book Review:  Disappointed by Christians. Disappointed by Church. Disappointed by God., by Harvest Prude (reviewing Lisa Victoria Fields, When Faith Disappoints: The Gap Between What We Believe and What We Experience (2024)):

Why are people leaving the church or their faith behind? Some answers boil down to platitudes, like a supposed desire to pursue a sinful lifestyle. But apologist Lisa Fields has found the reasons to be much more complex.

Fields, founder of the Jude 3 Project, which equips Black Christians to know what they believe and why, has sat across from many people leaving the church. During these “exit interviews,” she’s discovered that somewhere in nearly every story lurks the specter of personal disappointment with God or Christianity. She addresses this thorny issue in a new book, When Faith Disappoints: The Gap Between What We Believe and What We Experience (2024).

CT national political correspondent Harvest Prude spoke with Fields about walking with God in the midst of a broken world and our own disappointments.

Something from your book that really struck me is when you talk about unanswered prayers. How do we navigate times in our faith when we’ve sought out God for something and we feel overlooked because he doesn’t seem to answer?

For me, when God doesn’t answer my prayers, I have to have a real conversation with him about what he has not answered. My relationship with God is very open. There are times where I’m angry, and I have to get those feelings out of my mouth and out of my heart—because when I don’t voice my frustrations, I end up filled with bitterness and resentment.

There’s a quote from Tim Keller where he says—and I’m paraphrasing—that if we knew what God knows, we would want our prayers answered the way he answers them. I’ve had this experience in my own life. I remember a time when I wanted to connect with a particular person, a major donor who could help my ministry. But I didn’t have enough extra income to get to New York City, where he was based. I remember being frustrated, feeling like there were all these obstacles to networking and getting ahead. Only later did I learn that this person had just gotten arrested for embezzlement.

Sometimes, in your disappointment, you realize that God is letting you see things that you wouldn’t see otherwise or protecting you from dangers that you didn’t know about. In the book, I talk about a man I had been dating for almost four years. In the middle of our relationship, he got married to a woman he had been involved with behind the scenes for most of the time. This other woman had been married herself during most of the affair.

That whole time, I had been praying that God would make this man my husband. But I didn’t realize that he was actually protecting me from someone who had poor character, despite being a preacher. In the middle of my disappointment, I voiced my frustration. Then I gave myself time to ask what God might be trying to protect me from. What different direction was he trying to push me in? …

You write about the importance of forgiveness to any process of healing from faith disappointment. How do we respond well when a fellow believer has hurt us or broken our trust?

In my own life, I was having trouble trusting someone who had sinned against me and claimed to have repented. My therapist said, “I’m not asking you to trust them. I’m asking you to trust God.” And that has helped me a lot.

I enter into relationships that have been broken, knowing that the person, being human, could break that trust again. But I’m aware that I’ve probably caused hurts myself and I could do it again. And because I want grace, I know I need to give it as well. …

Sometimes, you have to give yourself time. Years ago, I read a book on forgiveness. It said there are occasions when we tell people we’ve forgiven them too abruptly because we don’t know the full impact of their actions. If we announce forgiveness too soon, we’re only forgiving the initial impact when we don’t yet know all the layers. How will these actions affect me a year from now? I might have to forgive again, but at least I’m choosing forgiveness. I’m choosing not to treat you like you owe me because you hurt me.

Lisa Victoria Fields, When Faith Disappoints: The Gap Between What We Believe and What We Experience (2024)):

For anyone who feels the weight of injustice, trauma, and suffering, the founder of the Jude 3 Project invites you to discover how to find hope when you can’t make sense of the pain.

Living as a Black woman in America, Lisa Victoria Fields understands the tension of relying on God in a broken world. While pursuing her calling in full-time Christian ministry—an often white, male-dominated vocation—she saw the contentions many people have with Christianity. She heard the theological questions, but instead of arguing for her faith, she listened to the barriers and heard the pain in their hearts: Why doesn’t God protect me from suffering and injustice? Others don’t seem to think I have value—does God?

Now, in her debut book, Fields shows us how emotional pain—often more than theological concerns—is at the root of our doubt. She invites us to bring our deepest soul questions to this journey as she explores:

• Seven pain points that might be keeping us from faith: a lack of personhood, peace, provision, pleasure, purpose, protection, and power
• Honest talk about how Christianity doesn’t seem to meet our very valid needs
• Why wrestling with God doesn’t negate our faith but instead deepens it
• What it looks like to allow God to bring healing to our pain so we can see Him and others more clearly

Through vulnerable storytelling and thoughtful use of Scripture, Fields tends to our hurting hearts and offers hope and resolve. She helps us move forward as we cling to a faith that brings us back to the truth of Christianity—not despite the pain of this world but in light of it.

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