Washington Post Op-Ed: What to Expect When You Have Expectations, by Anne Lamott (Author, Somehow: Thoughts on Love (2024)):
Sometimes, getting your hopes up backfires.
Having been accused by dark forces of writing about every little thing that happens to me, and in fact having made a career of this, I wonder whether it’s okay to catch readers up on this month’s cataract surgery.
Most things I know about life were reaffirmed, from our periodically doomed circumstances to all legitimate reasons for hope.
I have heard it said in the recovery community that expectations are resentments under construction. But I do not let that stop me: My husband had the surgery two weeks before, my poor Mr. Magoo husband with the worst eyesight of any non-blind person I know, and now he can see. …
So, naturally, a girl’s thoughts turned to her own shot at experiencing this. … I had my surgery last week.
My anesthesiologist, Andy, explained that I would be awake but drugged throughout. Yes, yes, Andy! In the old doper days, there was some risk that when the drugs wore off, I would find myself half-clothed, behind the wheel or married. But this was in an operating room. Do me, Andy! …
My eyes stung for a week, and 10 days later, I still cannot read without strong glasses. The coral abutilon blooms outside my window are blurry. I consulted WebMD, which my husband calls YouHaveCancerMD, and there were dire theories, which I shared with my surgeon. His replies figuratively patted my shoulder.
Yet, as I said, I am filled with hope. My eyes don’t sting anymore. I can read my wristwatch when I hold my arm at certain angles. I am actively grateful to whoever thought up coral abutilon flowers and their tiny hummingbird attendants: Maybe I’ll be able to see the veins in their leaves someday soon. My husband still gazes out of every window beatifically, and I am truly happy for him, still capable even after Nov. 5 of feeling great joy and caring. Nature, birds, joy, good old love for one another and a recent crash course in low expectations: These will see us through.
So, so much that we love will almost certainly be stolen from us in the years to come, and we must not look away, give up or give in. But so much greatness will remain, in nature, art, best friends, our interconnection and caring, and we need to be on the watch for these — maybe squinting — and cheer.
Other op-eds by Anne Lamott:
- Living For The Unremarkable Moments (Sept. 8, 2024)
- Do Not Mess With The Very Old (Aug. 4, 2024)
- Gentle Is The Joy That Comes With Age (July 7, 2024)
- Invisible And Exposed — But Adaptable, As Only The Old Can Be (June 9, 2024)
- The Dressing Room Encounter That Made Me Get Real About Aging (June 2, 2024)
- Lifelong Lessons In Coping With Fear And Humiliation (May 19, 2024)
- It’s Not So ‘Terribly Strange To Be 70’ (Apr. 21, 2024)
- The Two Best Gifts Of Aging? Softness And Illumination. (Mar. 17, 2024)
- A Superpower of Older Age: Powerlessness (Mar. 3, 2024)
- Age Makes The Miracles Easier To See (Jan. 28, 2024)
- At 33, I Knew Everything. At 69, I Know Something Much More Important (Nov. 26, 2023)
- It’s Good to Remember: We Are All On Borrowed Time (Nov. 3, 2023)
- I Pray. But I Don’t Want To See A High School Football Coach Praying At The 50-Yard Line. (July 10, 2022)
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