The Free Press: I’m Christian. My Wife Is Jewish. Our Marriage Is an Act of Faith., by R. R. Reno (B.A. 1983, Haverford; PhD Theology 1990, Yale; Professor of Theology and Ethics, Creighton University (1990-2010); Editor, First Things (2010-):

As the editor of a Catholic journal, I spend my days contemplating theological differences and the meaning of belief. But it was my marriage to a Jewish woman that brought me closer to God.

Juliana is Jewish, and I’m Christian. We’re both devout, and we’re happily married. Although we were young when we got married and our religious views were immature, we knew that we did not want a secular ceremony. We sensed that whatever compromises our marriage might require, we wanted to hold fast to our respective faiths.

The Christian view of intermarriage is more ambiguous than the Jewish prohibition. Tradition discourages it, but in one of his letters, St. Paul writes, “If any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her.” In the modern era, these words of counsel have allowed for intermarriage in most Christian churches, including the Episcopal Church. …

[T]here was synagogue, learning to read Torah, and Jewish day school for the kids. In fact, Juliana often says that my enthusiasm for Christianity spurred her to take Judaism more seriously. For my part, I was chastened by the adamantine clarity of Jewish law. My wife does things because God commands them. Her spiritual journey is nailed to the concrete realities of life. That’s been a powerful witness, especially for someone like me, who is attracted to theological abstractions. As the Epistle of James warns, faith without works is dead.

I won’t pretend that it’s easy for a devout Christian man to be married to a Jewish woman. My wife would respond that it is no easier for her to be married to a Christian man. On weekends, there are logistical challenges, with synagogue on Saturday and church on Sunday. On holidays, there are some compromises. …

Juliana and I are not divided. Twenty years ago, I left the Episcopal Church to become Catholic. Juliana remarked: “Wasn’t I clear that if you were going to convert that it should be to Judaism?” We laughed, but she understood my decision—and she stood beside me on the day I was received into the Catholic Church.

We’ll celebrate our 39th anniversary this month. Over those many years, in our different ways, we’ve both become more religious, more observant, more devout. For many years I’ve gone to daily Mass. When we moved to New York in 2012, Juliana began to go to morning minyan. Being married to Juliana taught me God can write straight with crooked lines.

Judaism forbids (and Christianity discourages) intermarriage for good reasons. But we’re grateful—and not just for our enduring love, which has been an incalculable gift. The modern world is disenchanted. The wheels of commerce whirl as we hover over a yawning abyss of meaninglessness. Death casts a long, pitiless shadow. Even those of us who believe in God feel the sad tug of doubt. It is a precious thing, a very precious thing, to have a partner who takes religion seriously, to have a companion in the effort to honor, serve, obey, and know God.

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